She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
