My hand turned me down
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
