I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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