Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
