I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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