D3 body, D1 cock
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
