You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
