if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
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it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize