i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize