i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We have started to decorate penises.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
