you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
