My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
