i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
