just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think I died a long time ago.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
