Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize