a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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