Non-Jews are for practice
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
