I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she looked like the before picture.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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