Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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