I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
