Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
