I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
