he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
