If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
