So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Did I show you my penis last night?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think my moral compass just broke
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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