there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
