its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
