I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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