He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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