can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
