Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
