Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
