Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
if only i could text you this smell
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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