it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
