So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
