It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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