I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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