Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize