So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
