similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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