There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
