The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
