Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
