Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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