don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it's like iHOP with fire
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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