I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
