nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
