Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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