I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
