We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i think im in europe. pls send help
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
