Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
