You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
