Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
