I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize